Reborn at 29 Years Old — My 6 Best Life Lessons Thus Far
I have definitely learned some lessons in the 29 years I’ve been alive. Some hard-won, and some gifted to me with the gentle grace of a falling feather.
I want to communicate some of these truths, lessons learned, and lessons I’m still learning. I intend for these to be tools for anyone to shape their mindset and outlook.
I’m not where I want to ultimately be in life in terms of contribution, achievements, or abilities — but I am striving to realize my vision. As I grow and evolve I realize that we all have the opportunity to attain Tabula Rasa or allow ourselves to be reborn. If life is not how we want it — we can conceptualize and execute a new plan. We are not powerless — we are powerful.
The power is under the surface. It’s waiting to become manifest. But, how?
It is natural for us to look for the how — the step by step procedural guide to achieve a goal. However, a formulaic approach might get us to an outcome. But, without clarifying our motive for desiring that outcome, reaching it might not be as satisfying as we’d hoped.
So before learning how to express and utilize our power we all need to answer the harder question than how, we all need to ask why.
Why do I want to realize this vision I’ve been developing?
Why do I want to learn to express my fullest powers and capabilities?
Why is that outcome important to me? (Is it actually important?)
Why am I not where I want to be (and have I even defined where or what that is?)
The how can happen so many different ways. Focusing on many of those ways, we can lose an important truth. At the core of our lives and our endeavors, our purpose is the spark of power.
This piece is about what I’ve learned trying to answer these questions and the journey itself. Working on living optimally throughout the process of chasing dreams, and searching for ways to operate enjoyably.
It is easy to feel anxiety and anguish throughout any difficult endeavor. But, if we are working towards creating a life on our terms we must trade these feelings of anxiety and anguish for purpose and power.
What good is going ‘all in’ to express our gifts and contribute to the world if we hate the actual daily process?
That would be almost the same as loathing our day jobs — while yearning for some “other” life or an undefined dream. Even the process of defining our ambitions, and understanding the depths of our abilities can be so tough that most people quit.
So, if you and I are to actually go for it. If we are going to actually make our lives mean something, something more than punching a clock. Something more than looking for ways to escape. We need to cultivate a deep appreciation and enjoyment of each day as it unfolds.
I’m working on it. Sometimes I fuck up. It is not easy, and it is not pain-free. But, here’s what I know.
I. Patience
Every time I get impatient and try to force an outcome or situation I am promptly reminded of the folly in rushed actions and thoughts. Settle in for the long haul. What would we do if all of our dreams came true overnight, and with no effort anyway? Hold on to the dream — and allow it to glimmer on the horizon as we march steadily and consistently towards it.
II. Persistence
Just because we are being patient, does not mean we are being passive. Our purpose, power and ultimately our persistence will take us where we need to go. Giving up, quitting, and settling for that gray area of an average and mediocre existence are always options. They will be tempting. They will try to seduce us — softly. A small compromise here, a fear based and reactive decision there — and boom. All of the sudden, we are no longer on the same path. We gave up things that seemed small, but their sums changed the course of our lives. We didn’t admit that we were completely giving up on our dreams, but we lacked the persistence to go along with our patience. Sure, some things might not need to be held onto with a death grip. But, without determined persistence and firmly grasping what does matter, our dreams can slip out of our hands and hurtle downwards.
III. Exerting discipline on oneself
Do we watch another episode, or do we put on our running shoes and workout? Neither is inherently “good” or “bad”, but with our most limited resource of time — we cannot always have the best of both. At certain times (most of the time), we need to muster up the inner strength to do what is uncomfortable, painful, or scary. Maybe it’s all three. Getting ourselves to take the actions that lead towards our glimmering horizon requires self-discipline. Why not watch another episode after our workout instead of it being an ‘either or’ choice? Or if it actually has to be an either or — which one is the best long-term? Which one builds on the patience and persistence? I need to, and we all need to, practice a little more self-discipline if we are going to be the kind of people who live on their own terms.
IV. Growth=a must
How can we reach our highest heights without growing as people? We can’t. If I already had the fully developed mindset and abilities to become what I want — I’d have done it. I need to consciously evolve, learn and practice along the way. We must grow. It is a requirement. Not something that “would be nice”. Not something we should do. I cannot imagine looking back on my life and realizing I stopped growing. Can you?
V. Macro & Micro (Future Hedging & Hyper Present Awareness as an Anti-Anxiety Strategy)
What the hell does that mean? It means that the perspective we adopt daily should always at least explore the big picture and the small details. I have often found myself stressed, overwhelmed and anxious even after understanding my purpose, power and desired destinations. There is so much to do to make it happen — and it’s all on me. How do I manage to enjoy the process with these uncomfortable, or even painful feelings? I look at the biggest possible picture (the macro) and the smallest possible frame (the micro). When I realize that I am just a small organism on a small planet in a vast universe — my mind relaxes knowing that there are forces at work that I can never control, let alone fully understand. It gives me peace knowing that if the world ended from some major catastrophe (manmade or heaven sent) that I chose to at least TRY to chase my dreams. The micro perspective contrasts with that principle. On the smallest possible level, I need to fully appreciate and enjoy as much time as possible especially because the future and macro scale is a genuinely uncertain place. Freeing myself from a future focus and becoming absorbed in the present moments. Choosing to make right now my focus simplifies everything. I alternate between the big and the small if I’m stressed. Big macro focus helps me to put my problems in perspective and small micro focus helps me to concentrate on creating an enjoyable experience NOW.
VI. Put pen to fucking paper
I am a firm believer that so many of us let our dreams fade because we never externalize them. They remain vague notions in our minds but do not take the next leap into the tangible. Whatever we want, we have to get a pen and paper and empty it all out from inside our minds. It won’t be fully formed or pretty. It will probably still be vague and maybe even ugly. That does not matter. What does matter is that we took some highly intangible form of energy (a thought) and literally brought it into this dimension. We make it more real by externalizing it into our environment. Writing stuff down does not automatically guarantee it will happen. Yet, not writing it down can practically guarantee that it won’t. Take some time alone and ask what do I want? What would I do if I had complete freedom from financial (or other) worry? Knowing what we want, we can then seek to understand why we want it. Define then refine.
This isn’t all I’ve learned, and it is far from all I will learn. If I am granted 29 more years on this Earth, I vow to continue my quest to create, contribute, learn and leave a legacy.
Thank you for reading!
This is the 77th installment of Writing Wednesday. A commitment to myself to actually pursue my dreams of becoming a writer. I have resumed this practice after almost an entire years absence.
I am a writer.
Let me know what you think, and follow my journey on Instagram/Twitter (@multitude27)
