Busyness…Are We Busy or Broken?
Being busy is a choice. Being busy does not mean being productive. Often we are the busiest when we are putting aside what truly matters: our health, our relationships, and our happiness. It might not seem like that, but we are. I’m busy right now, but I’m aware that I have tendencies to sacrifice my real priorities when I get busy, so I’m a better kind of busy.
I’m not flustered. My time in the next 5 weeks is completely booked up, but part of that booking is time for myself to either train, create, or recover. When I have been crazy busy before I never thought about what mattered in my life. I never put myself as a priority. Working for months on end and grinding myself to the bone in my past have taught me a few things about busyness and burnout.
I have burnt myself out several times in my life. That physical and mental exhaustion combined. Throw in some apathy and it’s a toxic cocktail.
If we are not careful being so “busy” all the time will leave us empty. What are we chasing? What are we avoiding? Busyness can be an excuse. It can be a mask. And it can be an escape.
If we are busy or occupying our time with things that do not bring us happiness long term, we are spending the most valuable non-renewable resource on earth — time. Money is a renewable resource, time is not. Putting aside what our heart hopes for, or getting caught up and making trivialities more important than they are can leave us waking up one day in a poisonous cloud of regret.
Bitter, and jaded we assume that what were once dreams we held dear, are now impossible or it’s “too late for us”. So we stay busy to avoid even trying what we really want. We escape taking responsibility for our health and bodies, by piddling away minutes, hours, days and weeks on the hamster wheel of busyness.
Busy often means out of control. There is a profound conversation on this topic, that is summarized here in a podcast (you can skip ahead to 21:22 for the specific part on time and busyness). I cannot recommend it enough if you find yourself frequently saying you are busy.
I am not here writing to just bash busyness or busy people. But to shine a light on it from a different perspective. To illustrate that if we stay busy with the wrong things it leads us down a path to potential emptiness and regret.
Not everyone who says they are busy is missing out on life, but a lot of people are. Some people just use that word, but are actually chasing their dreams and making an impact in the world. These few people are the unicorns. The rarities. The rest of us who are busy constantly are putting aside things that matter to us in favor of racing towards material goals or perpetuating a lifestyle.
We are not going to get any more time. I can’t loan you an extra week. Slowing ourselves down enough to ask what is actually important in our lives is so essential. We need to take some time back and assess what is happening in our lives. If what is keeping us so busy doesn’t fall on our list of what we really care about in life, then it is time to change something. Maybe it’s time to change everything.
If the only thing we change is to get an awareness that the busyness epidemic is often masking an internal emptiness, and leading us to a less than favorable destination — then that change in awareness is a major win. It will lead us to begin to assess our time and priorities differently and create other changes.
Often it is easy to respond to a “How are you?” with “Busy.” Because it enables us to not even ask ourselves that question. If we are uncomfortable with how we are really doing in terms of happiness and fulfillment it is a defense mechanism to say we are busy. We don’t have enough time to do anything we really want, we just have enough time to have no time to do anything.
I bring up busyness during what is for most people a busy time of year. So many parties, events, and expectations to meet. So much pressure to have the perfect holiday season. The perfect dinner, the perfect gift. When you step back and watch, there is so much hustle and bustle that the giving and joy the season is supposed to represent often takes a back seat to stress. Being busy we are in a reactive state, not an intentional state.
In this upcoming holiday season, we are all going to experience business. We are all going to experience the hectic push to the end of 2016 in one way or another. But, we can be more intentional and make sure we do not rush through a special time of year. Slowing down and savoring the holidays, the time with family, and the special moments.
Regardless of the time of year, we can all slow down a little more to focus on what matters most. We can all re-frame what busyness means, and realize that it often is a code word for stressed. Think about that. If you were to answer “How are you?” with “Stressed…” then you would undoubtedly receive some concern and empathy from the person asking you. Just because you say busy, does not mean that it is effective at hiding the stressed and overwhelmed state we find ourselves in.
Time famine is a growing problem for many people in industrialized parts of the world. Chasing some notion of success that is not our own. Pursuing a vision that society accepts. Big house, nice cars, lots of money. Where’s the health and happiness in that vision? People even think that busyness is a symptom of success. Well, it’s not. The most successful people — who often have shunned the need for strictly materialistic metrics, are very purposeful with their time. They do not allow what matters most to fall prey to the busy trap. They work hard for their freedom of time, to avoid being busy for busy’s sake.
Busyness is broken.
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This is the 43rd installment of Writing Wednesday. 43 weeks straight! Would love to hear your feedback on this piece or any of the other 42.
